San Francisco, CA - In a move aimed at catering to America’s ever growing population, Levi’s and Krispy Kreme have teamed up to market a special edition of Levi’s classic 501 style jean. The “Krispy Kreme 501” as it has been dubbed, is being marketed to the morbidly obese with the slogans “Because you threw in the towel a looong time ago” and “Cellulite is sexy”.

Monica Lewinsky and “documentary” filmmaker Michael Moore have signed on as celebrity spokespersons and are being compensated with special “Freebies for Life” cards, which can be presented in lieu of payment at any Krisy Kreme outlet worldwide, as well as one free triple bypass at The Mayo clinic.

“I only had to skim the contract and the words “Krispy Kreme” and “Mayo” jumped out at me like the correct answer on the SATs.” Lewinsky said.

“The third back pocket comes in really handy, especially since the pockets are lined with plastic. Now I don’t have to wait for the second Craft Services table to arrive on the set; I can stuff my gaping maw anywhere. I mean, how many times have you been on the subway or say, in the Men’s room at Penn Station and thought ‘If I only had a cheeseburger or a souvlaki’?” Moore added.

“Our pocket factory in Bangalore produced 200,000 back pockets last month, but our union run shop in San Jose only produces 50,000 pairs of jeans per quarter. I was driving around aimlessly trying to figure out what to do with all the extra pockets, when I saw this whale of a, um, I mean, exceptionally reubenesque woman walking into Krispy Kreme. I noticed that there was more than enough real estate on her jeans for a third back pocket, and the idea was born.” Said Vice President of Product Development.

In reaction to the announcement, both Cotton and Pork Belly futures soared new 52 week highs on the New York Mercantile Exchange.